GIVETHEREADERSWHATTHEYWANT!
One writer's experiment to tackle any subject his friends come up with.
CONTEST RULES. IT TOTALLY DOES.

Contest rules:

  1. It’s not a contest.  Everybody that submits will get a story.  My gift to you.  I say that with the utmost sincerity, because I intend on working very hard on each of these.  I also say it with the utmost irony, because I don’t think for an instant that all (or any) of these will be precious gems, cherished by every submitter, framed on their wall (Ooh, I *so* hope it’s framed on their wall!), waiting for my fame to catch up with their ebay reserve bid.  Please, take every opportunity to remind me that I am no more a writer than the next mammal.  I truly (well, okay, kinda) believe that anybody can write – it’s just the people who want to that get any good at it.
  2. Submissions will be open for a week.  After that point, I won’t take any more, at least not until I’m done with the first batch.  I’m really hoping to be overwhelmed.  If I’m underwhelmed, I may leave submissions open for another week.  Or jump off a bridge.  Totally your call.
  3. Everybody gets one submission.  Make it count!  Hopefully you have a great idea that I can totally steal and get rich off of.  Or, you know, like you’ve carried deep, unspoken scars from the death of your ferret when you were six, and my insight and wisdom bring you peace and closure – that’s good too.

    My agent. He may be overpaid.

  4. Don’t rush!  I will not be choosing from the submission list in the order they were submitted.  Once submissions are closed, I will generate a random order of addressing the submissions, and post that in the comments.
  5. Every form of submission, and every topic, is valid.  Give me a phrase, subject, one, two, three words that may or may not have anything to do with each other, a link, a youtube video, a treatise, manifesto, something you’ve already written that you want another take on, anything.  Anything!  Except Belgium.
  6. I will write whatever I want to!  I will endeavor to make it as relevant as possible to your submission, but if you don’t like it, tough (so much for that contest name!)!  I guarantee a minimum of two hundred fifty (250) words in each piece.  I expect they will average at five hundred (500).  Some pieces, possibly many, I will edit beyond the initial posting.  If people are so generous as to comment on the story once it’s posted, I will be eternally grateful.  I may or may not use that input in the editing.
  7. I will write one story per week (gasp!)!  At least.  I want to keep the energy at 11 on this thing, and I don’t want anyone to have to wait too long for their piece.
  8. The cash bit!  I am so serious, and so thankful for anyone willing to help.  I intend to submit many of these stories to be published, and if I should actually MAKE ANY MONEY off of them, I will give the originator 25% of the earnings.  Twenty-five percent!  Imagine what you could do with that kind of money: Buy that pack of gum you’ve always wanted.  Fix that leak in the roof (with the gum!).  And many other gum-related possibilities.

A compendium of my current published work.

Please pardon the mixture of glib sincerity.  While I hope to earn it, I know I’m asking for a lot of your time here.  I want to diffuse the whole “facebook is steeped in narcissism” aspect, and am trying to take myself as lightly as possible.  I also want you to know that I’m as serious as a really serious thing.  I enjoy writing immensely, and want the excuse to do more of it.  My heartfelt thanks go out to anyone who chooses to pitch in.